Deep Cuts
I figured it would only be appropriate to give y’all a little insight into how this project came to be. So here’s the first bonus track, a deep cut, you know that one track that you don’t know why it’s not a single but you’re secretly glad it isn’t so you can enjoy it intimately? Just you and the artist? Yeah, let’s get intimate baby.
Okay so boom, I’ve been saying I’ve been “writing a book” for the last six years, but ask me how many pages of that manuscript got done in that time? Maybe 30..tops. I’d like to chalk this up to many reasons like working 3 jobs in college & trying to survive under racial capitalism, which was/is valid, but not the only thing in my way. If I was honest with myself, I knew that I was afraid. Afraid to be vulnerable, afraid to make shitty art, afraid of my own greatness, afraid for it to flop, and afraid that I really just had a really grandiose perception of self and nothing noteworthy to actually say. As a chronic perfectionist, it was easy for me to convince myself that NEVER would always be the “right” time. But as I started to deepen my relationships with other artists, I allowed my curiosity to blossom. I slowly started to think, well why not me? If all these amazing writers want to read my work then maybe I have something to say after all.
So about 6 months ago I really started to work on that manuscript (which is a different book by the way, not this one). I broke that manuscript up into three sections, one of the sections being about looooveeeee. I am Venus in Pisces so I am by default a lover girl because romance is very sexy. At the same time, I began working on this, the universe serendipitously sent me an opportunity through the Luna Collective, an editorial magazine based in Los Angeles. They were doing their inaugural nine-week publishing course where people would walk away with a full complete project ready for print at the end of it all. The only problem? It had to be a zine or chapbook. Even Luna knew their own limitations and was like 9 weeks is for a short piece of work, not a full-length collection. So I was like damn, welp here’s another excuse for me to NEVER publish anything, because I have a full length, not a chapbook. But then I was like hmmm, what If all my love poems got to do their own thing? And I save the rest of my manuscript for later?
Enter the main character, “& Also With You.” Initially, she was a real cute 31-page text-only manuscript and I was like wooo, I made something, but then I was like ehhhh is this really all I can do? My friends have been saying I’m a multimedia artist for a while. I like to sketch and I take some pretty cool photos, but I’ve always been like nah nah nah, I’m a poet and my only talent is my words. But then, I slowly started to think, well why not me? So I was like lemme add just a couple photos for a little razzle-dazzle. Then I was like well, what if every poem had an accompanying photo? And then I was like well what if I designed it like a yearbook? And I hated it. And then, I was like what if I design it like a scrapbook? And I hated it. I kept saying, I just want this to feel like a mixtape! Some people had Limewire (I did) but my real bread and butter was datpiff and burned CDs. I wanted it to feel like that, and I was like well wait, why can’t I actually make it a mixtape? I mean I do have some bars you know? So I was like bet, let’s make it look like a CD cover, and that was cool. But when I was designing it, it just felt incohesive. Something was missing. I couldn’t put my finger on it. I just hated it and nearly gave up and was like I guess NEVER the right time strikes again.
Now y’all, we are entering the transition part of the deep cut, the switch up, you know where Pyramids by Frank Ocean transitions at 3:51? Yeah, this is where you fall in love with the track. So, like I said I was damn near ready to give up, but I was like well lemme hit this cafe and try to get some work done (shoutout Dear Mama in Harlem). Then I had this convo with a friend and we were talking about Kendrick Lamar and I was saying how I was a huge fan (say what you want about the man but I was in high school in Southern California when Overly Dedicated dropped so you can’t tell me nothin’) and he was like “I bet you not a real fan, you started liking him when he dropped “DAMN'“. And I was like oh no no no, don’t disrespect me!! I’ve been rocking with him since Training Day. It made me nostalgic so I was like okay, you know who is going to help me finish this project? K. Dot. So I’m like Ima play his whole discography on shuffle while I write, cause I love a little chaos.
The first song to play was “Opposites Attract” and I was instantly transported to my first heartbreak when I was 17 and how I was playing this song on REPEAT for weeks. I thought about the poem I wrote while I was processing the ending of young love, and I realized, wow music has been so integral to my writing. In fact, every poem I’ve ever written has had a song on a loop that helped me write it. Every song helped me survive. Every song gave me access to parts of me I kept hidden. Then the light bulb went off. I mean it damn near blew a socket in my brain. I was like let me pair the lyrics that inspired each poem together so it really can be a mixtape. Then I was like well it’s not really a mixtape if there isn’t a tracklist and something you can listen to, so let’s make a playlist to go with it. Then I was like well there’s also some learning to be had here. Do people know that RAP colloquially stands for rhythm and Poetry? Do people understand lyricism and poetry forreal? Shit, well I guess I gotta write a blog to talk about it. Cause art should be an experience, art should make you feel something, art should be taught, art should undergo iteration, and art should be allowed room to breathe. So here is my answer to that, my baby, “& Also With You” took her first breath today, April 27th, 2023 at 5:55 pm (quick someone do the birth chart).
I want to end this by saying trust yourself and your process. It is ALWAYS the right time to create. It is ALWAYS the right time to take risks. It is ALWAYS the right time to ask “Well, why not me?” This is the not-so-short explanation of how my book came to be, I’m excited to explore this process more with you in the next blog, but for now, enjoy her as she is and as you want her to be, cause she is mine, but now she’s also with you.
ATG
